No Shoe Monday

I wrote this a while ago and decided to post it anyhoo. An excerpt from February...

I didn't wear shoes while I was sitting at my desk today.

I kicked 'em off yesterday, too. Right in front of my client. Like a total hillbilly.

I think I hate wearing shoes. It's weird, because I love to buy them. I love to try them on. I even love wearing them if I'm all glammed up and ready to go out. But man. At work? Shoes? Really? Seems like the dumbest idea ever. I have the ugliest work clothes known to man, so I have really ugly work shoes to match. Maybe that's the problem.

Anyhoo, I don't anticipate meeting my future ex husband at my place of employment, but I am a little surprised that I no longer put forth ANY EFFORT when I go to work. I love to put on lots of hooker eyeliner and lip liner and wear floosey makeup. But at work? Nah.

Every morning, I lay in bed until the last possible second, just long enough to factor in a cup of coffee, which takes about 6 minutes to brew, and enough time for a quick deo application and some teeth brushing. Then Seacrest, out.

Our IT guy told me the other day that he was worried about me because I am not the same as I was a year ago. No shit, Sherlock. Back then, I actually showered on a daily basis. Now, I don't see the point. I mean, I shower if I have a date, but for work? Who even cares?

I need a job where I can wear flip flops. And jorts. And bikini tops. And maybe my awesome Memphis trucker hat. And lots of bracelets. Within a bike riding commuting distance. Where I can work with angry teenagers who have AD/HD and who hate everyone. Anybody hiring for that kind of job? I want to start a camp.

Camp makes me think of being a camp counselor with my sis every summer, where we would tell all of the campers that there was a "crockagator" in the lake that would devour them if they didn't act civilized, and every summer, their parents would call the camp director saying that their child was "traumatized by stories of the crockagator" and we were confronted about it like we'd fed them rat poison or something. And of course, we'd say, "What are you talking about? We know of no such thing."

My sister and I have always gotten into immense, delicious trouble together.

I'm leaving for New Orleans late tonight to go to Mardi Gras. I don't think I've ever needed a family reunion so bad. I can't wait. I can't wait to see my sister and cousins and friends. I miss Louisiana. I haven't been in a long while. People are real down there. You can say whatever you want and they don't get their panties in a wad over it. I can't wait to drink a Bushwacker and hug my sister and see my Aunt Denise.

Oh, dirty South. There's no place like home.