My Quarter Life Crisis is Kicking My @$$

I googled "Quarter Life Crisis" today to see if I could get any tips. I came across this:

“I believe I am entering phase five of my quarter life crisis. It’s a bit like how grief has stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression & acceptance.

Anyway quarter life crisis, phase 1: Denial. Party harder than before, delete your birth year from your Facebook profile.
Phase 2: Anger. MY LIFE IS SO SO BAD ARGHNNGGGMMPPFFF.
Phase 3: Bargaining. Give up smoking for a week and buy some expensive face wash.
Phase 4: Shame and regret.
Phase 5: Fear of your imminent death.
Phase 6: Acceptance that since you’re not ever going to do all the things you want to do or know all the things you want to know you may as well sit around smoking weed all day if you feel like it as anxiety only hastens your IMMINENT DEATH.
Phase 7: Death.”

It made me feel a little more hopeful, like I'm not the only one (THANK GOD).

Here's the link to the whole article:

http://galadarling.com/article/how-to-cope-with-a-quarter-life-crisis

The first catalyst for a quarter-life crisis is a lack of meaningful work.

Please excuse me as I get back to my debits and credits.